Source of Quarrels and Conflicts - 03/17/2024
Why do good friends have heated arguments over trivial issues? Why do Christians express their disagreements using strong, loud verbal language? Why do these quarrels and conflicts sometimes escalate to someone being harmed? James explains the source for this worldly behavior (James 4:1-3).
The difference between quarrels and conflicts is the degree of the disagreement. Quarrels usually are short-term in duration (a few minutes) and are over trivial matters. Conflicts usually are much longer in duration (days, months or years) and involve “more serious” matters.
Quarrels usually involve words to resolve the disagreement while conflicts usually intensify to exerting physical force. In either case, relationships may be temporarily strained or permanently severed.
James asks, “What is the source (the origin) of quarrels and conflicts among you?” What is the cause for such altercations and dissensions? He says it is “your pleasures,” your “lust” or you are “envious.”
These three terms have one thing in common. It is all about what I want. It is something that I want that brings me pleasure. It is something that I have a strong desire for. It is something that another person has and I want that thing.
When we are placing our own “wants” above our relationship with other people, especially fellow Christians, then quarrels and conflicts are inevitable. James says it could possibly result in “murder” because “we want our way!” While this may be extreme, James is nonetheless pointing out a possibility. Even if murder is not committed, there may be fights which break out between the disagreeing parties.
James is making the point that such behavior is the practice of “worldly wisdom” and not the wisdom that “comes down from above.” It is not the behavior God wants His people to be displaying.
When we evaluate the attitude of a person who would “quarrel” or “have a conflict” over “trivial earthly matters,” we can see that their major focus is to satisfy themselves. They are placing their “wants” before the other person. It is the choosing of life’s pleasures over godly living. James says when we are asking for these types of things, our prayers will not be answered because they are “with [the] wrong motive.”
The Christian is not prohibited from asking God for things which will bring about pleasure in this world, but rather the Christian is prohibited from asking for things which are motivated by evil intentions.
God wants His followers to be concerned about the other person and not what will bring pleasure to oneself if it is going to cause a quarrel or a conflict. Putting the desires and wants of others before ourselves demonstrates we are living God’s way. - cgm
Scriptural quotations from the NASB1995.